- Give up your need to always be right. When we try to be right, we are in effect always trying to make someone else wrong, says Han. “If we can try to focus on solutions going forward together instead of being right, we can have less stress and better relationships at work.”
- Give up attachment, your need for control and your resistance to change. This is all about giving up the need to have work (and life) be the way you expect it to be. If we have no expectations, then we cannot be disappointed or unhappy. The need for work to be a certain way is the root cause for much unhappiness. Stay open minded and be willing to adapt to changes as things happen at work, she says.
- Give up on blame, complaining, the luxury of criticism, and the past. We can waste a lot of time dwelling on the past, usually something that happened that we didn’t like. This leads us down a very negative path and wastes time. Once you start down the path of complaining, criticizing, and blaming, no productive progress can come out of it.
- 4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk, limiting beliefs, labels, fears, and excuses. Just as you need to give upnegative thoughts about others, it’s also critical to give up negative thoughts about yourself and what you are capable of doing. We can choose what we tell ourselves. If this is the case, why not choose to tell ourselves inspiring things like “I know I can do it”?
- Give up your need to impress others and live your life to other people’s expectations. Many people fall in this trap because we live in a society that loves to flaunt material wealth and compare status; the kind of car we drive, house we own, school our kids goes to. We all have a choice about whether to subscribe to others’ expectations. Why not try setting your own standards and not worrying about what other people think?
Admittedly, says Han, “this list is much easier said than done.” We can make efforts to give up these things. “Just know when we choose not to give something up; the price is our happiness. Sometimes that perspective alone can help us all make small positive changes.”